Not One Among Us
by livcrew
Summary: Donnie and coffee... need I say more?


Not One Amongst Us, a ninja turtles fanfic | FanFiction

A/N: Donnie and coffee… need I say more?

I own none of the song lyrics I write down, they all belong to their respective owners!

"Okay, Mikey, your turn!" Leo giggled as he pointed to Mikey, who was rocking on his shell in laughter.

Everyone sighed at the same time and thought about what a great idea it was to get together like this tonight. Tonight was legislated by Mikey as "Humor Night", because quite frankly, he'd had enough seriousness for one week, and he was willing to just shake it all off and start fresh. Basically, in his mind, it was a night with no actual rules, just telling stories and any other humorous ideas they could come up with at the time. Everyone, including April, agreed to this. So at seven that night, they all made a bowl of popcorn and gathered in a circle on the dojo floor. Splinter had agreed to this, as long as there was no profile language, inappropriate themes, clean up after yourselves, blah, blah, blah… all that good stuff. Everyone tuned out when it came to that part. It was now 8:10, and far from even considering what time to leave. So far, the activities of the night consisted of storytelling, both fictional and nonfictional.

"Alright!" Mikey laughed, he rubbed his hands together thoughtfully. He did that for a few seconds until the friction got the best of him and he stopped. He resorted to drumming his fingers on the floor. Then, a huge smile slowly spread across his face, making everybody hold their breath for a few seconds. Because if MIKEY has an idea… it's not gonna end well.

"I've got an idea!" he shouted.

"MIKEY has an IDEA?! Alert the press!" Raph says.

"Hardee har har…" Mikey chortled, "Okay, it's called… "Not One Amongst Us"…"

Donnie scoffed, surprised that Mikey would be able to come up with a title as thrilling as this one. "Nice title…"

Yeah, well little did he know, he was in for a world of perpetual embarrassment.

Mikey sighed, thinking of a way to tell his story. "Okay once upon a time, there were four turtles and one lovely lady…"

Mikey smiled and winked at April, who was blushing. Donnie didn't notice.

"…who all lived in a sewer for fifteen years, and forever more. Everything was always perfect… that is, until morning."

Everyone raised their eyebrows.

Mikey smirked and continued, "Every morning, one turtle would get out of bed not himself. Like, REALLY not himself. He would scare off everybody who stood in his way, roaring all the way into the kitchen. He was a giant, savage, mindless MONSTROCITY! And his name...shall not be spoken of at this time."

All eyes turned to eachother, wondering if it could be THEM he was talking about. Donnie especially. 'Cause he KNEW Mikey.

"Hey look, Donnie's getting all sweaty again!" Leo said.

Everyone, (except Donnie, duh), began to snicker. Mikey stopped laughing and continued his story. "The following is the events of an average morning in the New Yorkian sewers!"

Leo blinked open his eyes. He glanced at the clock. 8:00. Probably the best time to get up, since his brothers are the heaviest sleepers on the planet.

Except for Donatello.

Donnie rolls his eyes. Mike notices and bites back laughter.

Leo shuddered at the thought. He sat up, stretched, and yawned. He promptly made his bed, trying to forget all about the evil that could be lurking anywhere… even in his room. His thoughts were interrupted when a shadow darted around the corner of his room. He only caught it out of the corner of his eye, but he sure saw it. His heart instantly became a lump in his throat. "What if…" he thought. He swallowed hard and walked into his younger brother, Raph's room.

"Raph, time to get up," he says.

"Mmmhgmph… no, good dream…" he mumbles almost incoherently.

Losing patience, Leo tears the covers off of his dazed brother, who only lays flat, and flops around violently like a fish out of water, his eyes still shut.

"Oh, WHAT?! I have never done that before in my life!" Raph rants.

"Who says it's never gonna happen?" Leo smiles.

At this point, Raph is in position to pummel his older brother. He was interrupted of his efforts by Mikey clearing his throat.

"Let me finish my story PLEASE!" he says loudly.

Raph and Leo fix themselves back into a comfortable position to listen to his story.

Leo growls and drags him off the side of the bed. He immediately wakes up, "YES LEADER!" he yelps.

Leo smiles, "You do realize what you just said, don't you…?"

"Leo, I'm not a stupid."

Raph glares at Mikey, who is too busy with his storytelling to notice. And the fact that he was using voices didn't help matters.

"Good. Let's go wake up our AWESOME brother, Mikey," Leo says.

It was one of those "oh brother" moments that only April sniggered at.

Leo turned around to see April standing two feet in front of him. He screamed like a young girl.

"Oh, come on, you REALLY think I would be able to do that?" Leo asks, obviously confident in his ability to scream like a civil man.

Raph stomped on his foot, making him scream like a young girl. He clamped a hand to his mouth in realization of what his just did as everyone laughed. His cheeks turned dark pink as Mikey continued his story.

"Geez, Leo," April said, "you've been giddy this morning. Why?"

Leo didn't answer her question, only whispered, "He could be anywhere…"

April's face showed the utmost confusion, "Who's 'he'?"

Leo quickly pulled a finger to her lips to shut her up. "Leo, what's this ab-"

"Shhhh… you'll see… he's bound to wake up sooner or later. Since this is your first night down here with us, you get to witness "the transformation" for the first time by a human!" He walked away quietly as he peered around the corner one last time as he headed for Mikey's room, dragging Raph behind like a mother would a toddler. He wasn't a morning person. Just like some other people in the sewers.

Arriving at said bedroom, he told Raph to stay in the hallway and watch for "the one".

"Raph, stay in the hallway and watch for "the one"," Leo said.

Raph rolled his eyes and did as he was told.

Leo tiptoed over to Mikey. You see, Mikey had a habit of singing in his sleep.

Everyone in the room raised their eyebrows. This was gonna be brutal. Mikey smiled.

That's right. Singing. Leo winced as he began to sing some random song.

"I AM TITAAAANIIIIUM!" he yelled unconsciously. "IT'S MIDNIGHT AND I'M NOT FAMOUS YET!"

Looks of disbelief fell upon the orange-clad turtle, which reflected off of him.

"THE WEATHER IS HERE, I WISH YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL!" he took a breath, "APACHE! JUMP ON IT! JUMP ON IT! JUMP ON IT! YOLOLOLOLOLO! AUNGAUNGAUNGAUNGA!"

Leo scoffed.

"DO THE DESPERATION SAMBA! VOMINOS AMIGO!" a pause, "DO THE HARLEM SHAKE!" another, "OPPA GANGNAM STYLE! HEEEEYYY, SEXY LAY-DAY!"

Leo raised an eyebrow ridge. "How original," he thought.

"DISTURBIA! AIN'T USED TO WHATCHA LIKE!" he yelled yet again. "THREE-HUN-DRED-SIX-TY-FIVE-DE-GREES! BURNIN' DOWN THE HOUSE!"

"Mikey!" Leo began.

"BIRD-BIRD'S THE WORD!"

"Wake-"

"L-U-V MADONNA! Y-O-U, YOU WANNA?!"

"-UP!"

"I WILL PLAY FOR GUMBO-" he woke up in mid-verse, screaming at his brother gripping his shoulders like they were some sort of stress ball.

Leo screamed as well. Mikey fell off the side of the bed in a heap, standing up immediately. "Leo! Whatcha do that for?!"

"Sorry for party-rocking," Leo thought.

"Heh, it's clever." Leo says.

April peeked her head inside the room to figure out what the Pop Danthology 2013 was about. She had the weirdest teenage-hood in the world. And that's how she liked it.

"He's right…!" April says and smiles sheepishly. Donnie thinks about wrapping an arm around her for a nanosecond, but deciding against it, thank goodness.

Raph yawns in the hallway, tuning out Leo and Mikey's excessing yelling. He turns around and is nearly scared out of his shell. For not five feet in front of him, a GIGANTIC, smelly, savage MONSTER! His eyes illuminated a bright, glowing red. He opened his huge, foamy mouth to reveal sharp, pointy teeth! He growled menacingly, which slowly became a roar.

Raph could barely speak, even though he goes through this every morning, it never loses its excitement.

"L-l-leo…?"

"WHAT?" Leo snaps, in mid-argument.

"It's up…"

Leo and Mikey slowly made their way out into the hallway, awe-stricken at the gigantic smelly blob before them.

"It looks like one of those horror movie monsters, dude!" Mikey whimpers.

The monster pounded the wall in a fit of rage, roaring at the top of its lungs.

Donnie frowned, "When am I gonna be involved in this story?"

Mikey broke out in laughter, "Oh, you'll see…"

It spit out poison from its tongue, looking down on them, ready to tear apart their flesh.

"POUND THE ALARM!" Mikey, Leo, and Raph yelled at the same time. April was too busy running into the bedroom. Quite smart on her behalf.

"COOOOOOFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEE!" it roared.

"Now wait…" Donnie muttered to himself.

"RUN!" Leo screeched.

"For once, I actually agree with him!" Raph says.

Mikey was too late, unfortunately, for he was pinned by the monster, wincing at its morning breath.

"MIKEY! NO!" Leo and Raph yelled simultaneously.

"WHERE… IS… MY... COOOOOFFFFEEEEE?!" he screamed.

Mikey peeked open an eye, just able to make out the purple bandana over the monster's eyes.

"DONNIE! BUDDY! IT'S MIKEY!"

Donnie gaped in disbelief. This was not happening. Not in front of April! Now he realized how Raph felt every single day of his life. MIKEY, the little abomination. Causing everyone to bust out laughing. But he had to give it to him, he could tell a pretty good story. Might as well let him finish while trying not to die of anger before he finishes…

"Raph's getting the coffee right now! But you're gonna have to go to the kitchen for it!"

He prayed that he would just get off of his chest. It really hurt.

The monster immediately eased up, hopping off of his chest. "COFFEE?!" it says, as he climbs off of his brother and stomps obliviously into the kitchen.

Mikey sighs and follows.

The whole sewer shakes, (and makes everyone wonder how it was effecting the surface, like exploding toilets and whatnot), as this savage form of Donatello stomps happily into the kitchen, with coffee being the only thing on his mind. "COOOOOFFFFEEE!" he roared again as he grabbed the cup out of a rather startled Raphael's hands, shoving it down his throat, glass and all. "MOOOOORRREEE!"

This time, instead of waiting for Raph to make it, he took the entire coffee machine and ate it.

"That's ANOTHER hundred bucks…" April mutters with a notebook and pencil in her hand, obviously intrigued at the sight before her eyes.

"How often does he eat the machine…?" she asks Leo, who, at this point, took shelter in the recesses of the bedroom with April.

"He's never done that before," he says.

"Interesting…"

Mikey and Raph hit the duck behind the couch, praying that he ate Leo. The roaring died down, however their constant screaming didn't stop. That's when they felt a finger tap on each of their shoulders.

"WE'RE TOO COOL TO GO!" Raph yelled.

"AND I-E-I-E-I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!" Mikey sings.

"QUIT SINGING!"

"I'M TRYING SO HARD!"

"Guys…"

"WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN LEO?!"

"YES, WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN LEO?!"

Leo scoffs in disapproval.

Donnie grinds his teeth together, an action which was bound to occur all night from this point on.

"Guys… what are you screaming about, it's Don!"

Raph and Mikey whip their heads around to reveal Donnie, normal as ever, with a cup of coffee in his hand.

"Why are you cowering behind the couch?"

"OH, YOU KNOW, A NATIONAL PASSTIME OF OURS!" they yell in a paranoid manner.

"O-Okay…" he stammers, trailing off into the kitchen.

Leo and April enter and pick them up. "What happened to Don?" April asked, eyes wide with confusion.

"He's not one amonst the living without coffee." Mikey said.

THE END.

Everybody glared at Mikey. Just glared. How he was able to tell such a descriptive story at 8:30 at night was beyond them.

But the initial response was to laugh, so they did.

All except Donnie. "Look at them," he thought, "laughing so hard that nothing comes out and they just sit there clapping like retarded seals…"

"OH! MY SIDES HURT!" Mikey yelped, still laughing, his hand unconsciously cradled up against his side.

"Oh! My spleen!" Raph squeals.

He sat up, and looked at April. "But April's here… I don't want to embarrass myself in front of her…"

"But he's got the upper hand with that wonderful story he just told."

The battle with his conscience continued then on.

"But I know she likes me… but she chooses not to show it."

"You sure about that, DREAM BOY?"

"Oh, DON'T TALK TO ME IN THAT TONE OF VOICE!"

"I CAN DO WHAT I WANT!"

"I'M IN CHARGE OF YOUR FATE, SMARTBUTT!"

"YOU WEAR CURLERS TO BED!"

"ARE YOU STALKING ME?!"

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU ANY MORE!"

Donnie paused when he felt four pairs of eyes fall upon him. Little did he know he had added to the pure humiliation by gradually fighting his conscience in a full voice. BUSTED…!

They just laughed even harder. If that was even possible.

He couldn't take it anymore. "I'M GOING TO GET MORE POPCORN!" he blurted out as he departed for the kitchen.

Leo tried to catch his breath, "That- that's like your… fourth bowl tonight, Don!"

"Does it matter?! You're so fat that when you walk in front of the video game console, I lose the connection for three hours!"

Mikey laughed all over again. "Bro, you sooooo asked for that one!" he squealed.

Leo gasped in horror and stood up, pinning Donnie against a wall. "Would you like to rethink that statement…?"

Donnie swallowed, "…No!" he shouted and ran away.

"GET BACK HERE, YA SNIVELBUTT!" Leo yelled across the sewer as the wild goose chase began.

The laughing continued from April, Raph, and Mikey. This was a rare opportunity, the calmest ones, drunk off of popcorn, fighting.

"OW! My spleen!" Mikey yelled.

Tonight was just what they needed to get back on their feet again.


End file.
